remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
