i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
