Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You're my little dorito
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
