we're blogging at a bar
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
