i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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