I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i wish my penis had a tongue
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
