I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
that may or may not have been my penis.
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