I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
