so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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