when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
