so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
