youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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