fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
soo... how was my night?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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