When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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