her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
