rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
