did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
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Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
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Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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