so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
