She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
