turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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