Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
