I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
