so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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