Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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