Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
