ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
