i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize