Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
