and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
