he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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