i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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