i think my tv is drunk
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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