Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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