Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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