i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
