i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
