yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
