I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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