My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
