DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
