I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
