Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
