What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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