U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
