I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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