Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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