Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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