Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
