i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
