Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We got so high we made milksteak
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
