i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she smelled like a LAN party
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
