5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
