my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
