awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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