My hand turned me down
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
