Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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