I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
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So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
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He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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