I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
