I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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