I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
