you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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