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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
