Moan for me like Helen Keller
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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