Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
