dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
