You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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